Remembering Taz

Originally posted 5-26-11

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.Blessed be the name of the LORD

” Job 1:21

 

My little buddy Taz was the inspiration for me to start the Prayer group "How Can I pray for you Today" 2 1/2 years ago.I still miss him. Here's how it all came abaout.

My very personal story; ORIGINALLY WRITTEN ON MAY 26th 2011;

My little dog Taz who had once been so healthy and active became disabled suddenly last week. After rushing him the the ER the Vet on staff had determined he had suffered a rupture in his back hence the reason he couldn't walk. His back legs just wouldn't move anymore, a very common problem for a 16 year old in his breed.
The vet put him on pregnazone, a pain killer for dogs. He later told me dogs hide their pain well and rehab for Taz’a condition would be, well..Messy. A dog that can't walk is a dog that can't control his bladder or other functions-if you know what I mean. Taz was my best friend, although he became Diana's dog more than mine, He followed her everywhere, but who doesn't love Diana? She has a way about her even with furry things.
So we went shopping, for diapers-doggie diapers, and baby wipes...lots of baby wipes. We made him a comfortable place to rest. The Vet said rest is what he needed most, after a few days he might be up and around. More than likely he would have a long rehab ahead of him. After another check up the following week Taz was showing signs of rebounding. The doc though optimistic, was always very clear with us that the chances were 50-50 that he'd ever walk again.
I worked with him, Diana worked with, Our friend Jodi dog sat him that weekend and cleaned up after him as though Taz was her own. We were scheduled to take him into the vet today but yesterday he just slept, wouldn't move and hardly ate anything. Last evening I knelt down beside him in the floor right next to his bed made of towels and doggie diapers. I put my hands on him, I stroked his fur, I petted his head, rubbed his ears and played with his toes and I prayed for him-yes I prayed for my little furry friend. I told God that if he was in any pain at all, if there was not even the slightest chance he wouldn't recover, it was OK to take him-Here I am giving God permission? Not that I had any choice in the matter-ALL life is in God’s hands and no matter how much we deny it, we know someday we are going to have to prepare ourselves for the inevitable.
I think about the gift love Taz gave me over the 16 years. He was my pal. He gave me the gift of unconditional friendship. He was always glad to see me, more faithful to me than some people that passed through my life. He never complained that I had worked long hours, never talked back, never once snapped at me that I can remember. He was always a big hit at our small group bible studies; always the center of attention and everyone really loved him. He loved to go for a ride in the car; I swear that Dog's face changed whenever I mentioned the word car! He was a true friend in every sense of the word-not a fair weather friend, always there, always wanting to cuddle and loved to sit on the couch. In his later years he began losing his strength so he couldn't jump, he would walk over to me and just sit there with an expression that suggested "Rod can you help me up"?

On a cold rainy night in January 1995 I brought him home when he was just 8 weeks old. He fit in my jacket pocket. I called him Taz because he spun around like a top when he was happy to see me. Now he and I would take one final ride together -alone being that Diana was out at Covenant Harbor for a youth retreat. This time there would be no stops off at the Dairy Queen for ice cream-Taz loved vanilla, there would be no bouncing from seat to seat, no diversion to Pet smart for a bone. This was his final ride in the car. My heart that was already broke in a million pieces just collapsed thousands more as I wrapped up that little ball of fur for his final ride. I think I have cried a river of tears today. My eyes are still soggy and wrinkled, my heart shattered.
I have always preached that God answers prayer. Sometimes the answer is not what we wanna hear though. I realized today, some prayers that get answered hurt so bad. God answered my prayer and it was quite possibly the most painful prayer I have ever prayed. But I trust my heavenly Father that he knows best for all things...
even for my little pal named Taz...

You're giving me a special gift,

So sorrowfully endowed,

And through these last few cherished days,

Your courage makes me proud.

But really, love is knowing

When your best friend is in pain,

And understanding earthly acts

Will only be in vain.

So looking deep into your eyes,

Beyond, into your soul,

I see in you the magic, that will

Once more make me whole.

The strength that you possess,

Is why I look to you today,

To do this thing that must be done,

For it's the only way.

That strength is why I've followed you,

And chose you as my friend,

And why I've loved you all these years...

My partner 'til the end.

Please, understand just what this gift,

You're giving, means to me,

It gives me back the strength I've lost,

And all my dignity.

You take a stand on my behalf,

For that is what friends do.

And know that what you do is right,

For I believe it too.

So one last time, I breathe your scent,

And through your hand I feel,

The courage that's within you,

To now grant me this appeal.

Cut the leash that holds me here,

Dear friend, and let me run,

Once more a strong and steady dog,

My pain and struggle done.

And don't despair my passing,

For I won't be far away,

Forever here, within your heart,

And memory I'll stay.

I'll be there watching over you,

Your ever faithful friend,

And in your memories I'll run,

...a young dog once again.
 (c) Karen Clouston

Nuff sad.....